web statistics NYC Beard and Moustache Championships Blog: April 2006

Thursday, April 27, 2006

New Contestant: Tomasino Hooks

Check out that stache! His slogan is:

"Hooks for look & look for Hooks"

I can't argue with that.

The Beard Stays, You Go!

Tom wrote in to remind me of this beard-centric sketch from the Kids In The Hall.

Thanks Tom! Here's the YouTube link.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Living with a guy who has a beard

Shin-pei writes:

"Every time I recoil from touching Jon's beard, he tells me that he's conditioned it. I ask him if he's ever trimmed it, looking up-close and askance at all the little strays firing away from the beard body. Doesn't it look trim? He asks. I say no. The beard can hear you, he tells me."

Ladies send your beard/moustache impressions here: nycbmc at gmail dot com. we'll post 'em + maybe do a reading at the event.

Monday, April 24, 2006

New Cereal!

I didn't want to say anything until it was somewhat official but I finally have my idea and paper work set for my new cereal....the official cereal of the NYC BMC....ok, ready?

An Excellent Source of 9 Vitamins & Minerals

Made from crunchy oates and moustache hairs from jailed inmates!

Key Food is interested!!!!

A clump of hair at the bottom of every box!


New Contestant: "Karate!"

Karate! (who also goes by "Lazer Fart") writes:

"my mustache speaks for itself... whispering inaudibly in German."

Here's a link to the full version of Karate!'s picture, which is rather breathtaking.

Doug is coming to NYC!

The guy in the middle there is Doug Claussen, one of the founders of the Whiskers Club and a subject of "Splitting Hairs," the documentary we're working on. Doug traveled with myself, cameraman Colin Oberschmidt, and WBMC champs Gary Johnson and Frank Madera. Here are some pictures from that trip.

You can watch a short Doug related video clip here.

The picture above shows Gary, Doug and Frank in costume at the 2005 WBMC. As you may be able to tell, Doug likes to dress up like a 19th century "Bowery Boy." However, this year he insisted on including Seattle Seahawks gear in his costume, which I believe is historically inaccurate.

Why there were very few posts over the weekend

I was trying to install a dimmer switch in the apartment, and accidentally blew out our electricity. Because of a mixture of pride, ignorance and obstinance, we proceeded to be without power for two days. Finally I had to pay an electrician to come and fix the problem. Then, at the end of the day on Sunday when the power had been restored, I broke a chair.

Saturday, April 22, 2006


Poster created by:
Pilar Erika Johnson

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Jeremy nominates his Own Dad

Yesterday Jeremy wrote in to nominate his Own Dad ("OD") for the lifetime achievement award. Kudos to Jeremy's OD for having such a thoughtful son, and kudos to Jeremy for having an OD who sports such a dreamy stache.

Who is Jeremy? This video clip answers that question pretty well. (Crappy Windows Media only for the time being, but efforts are underway to restore the footage to a format and quality that are more befitting).

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

New Contestant: Hatchy!

Hatchy will be competing in the "Patchy" category, and judging by that scraggle, he's gonna be tough to beat. Also he plans to give himself a haircut to match his face:

"I might also patch up the top o' my head, so i've got matching patch. A Match Patch, if you will."

That does it: I've got Hatchy Fever!

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

"You Are So Beautiful, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Facial Hair"

Jeremy and I put together this video as a tribute to famous beards and moustaches. We'll screen a version of it for the Lifetime Achievement Awards @ NYCBMC. Feel free to suggest clips that we may have missed in the comments section.

UPDATE: The video is also available via YouTube, although people have been complaining about the load time.

Cheney's a liar!

Just kidding. No political stuff here. Except for this!

Last night Burke sent me this picture with an email that ended thusly:

"Okay this godamn message has taken me so long to write as I'm fryin balls and want to get back to it."

Monday, April 17, 2006

UPDATE: Training to be the NYCBMC Mascot

Jamie writes:

"It appears that there has been a minor setback with my training regimen. Since the weather up here has quickly shifted from winter to spring, my Nordic training sessions have melted with the snow. These inevitable events have forced to come down from the mountains and continue my training on the flatland. I choose the UVM soccer field as my new arena. Wind sprints, suicides, and bleachers all became standard fare, that is until this past Thursday.

Since my rabbit costume needed to be returned for the Easter holiday, I was forced to find something more suitable for the campus setting. A domesticated dog was my costume of choice. Clearly, no one questions a giant canine timing himself in the mile run. Aside from the obvious differences between the rabbit and the dog costumes (floppy vs. cropped ears, fluffy vs. long tail, etc.) there are other, subtler differences that I would come to realize.

The oversized head of the dog made it rather difficult to maneuver, particularly when running a set of bleachers. In the middle of my second set I landed awkwardly on my left paw. Unable to regain my balance due to the oversized head, I began to tumble.

When I came to, I was in the back of an ambulance. Thankfully, a mild concussion and a twisted ankle are my only injuries, and, as you know, they are both a long way from the heart.

The picture above was apparently taken while I was unconscious..."

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Local Kiwanis don't endorse Burke's restaurant

I was googling Rambling Jack's (the restaurant that Burke works at) for images, and I came across this passage written by Jan Britt, secretary of the Olympia Kiwanis Club:

"With Ruby’s closed today – even though it’s posted hours indicated it should be open – we need to consider another location for Board meetings. Rambling Jack's is very noisy and not good for meeting. After discussion Charley Barron will check with Charles Shelan and see if we can meet at the CYS meeting room and “brown bag” our lunches."

For those who are interested, Olympia Kiwanis meetings are now every Monday at noon in the Viewpoint Room at Tugboat Annie's.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Update: Burke's getting his shifts covered

This is good news. Burke writes:

"I work at a restaurant called Ramblin' Jacks located in downtown Olympia. I'm just a lowly kitchen worker there, washing dishes, prep cooking, and I'm in charge of loading/unloading the smoker. The owner is a local guy who owns 2 other restaurants. I've been working for him for about 3 years now and he thinks I'm awesome, but is hesitant to make me a line cook because of my beard.

Anyway it's no problem to get shifts covered. I'll make sure the post will say I'm going to the NYCBMC."

New Contestant: Mike Von Michael

MVM writes: "My Mustache can fly. And it has x-ray vision."

What the devil?!

Friday, April 14, 2006

Burke's Underground Spaghetti Cafe

Burke's dedication to his sport is a source of inspiration:

"So in a couple weeks I'm holding an "underground spaghetti cafe" to raise money to get to the championship. I've attached the flyer I made, check it out. I'll definitely have some cash for high livin in a hotel.

Oh, one more thing, I work on Friday, Saturday, & Sunday. The championship is on a Tuesday. Think I'll be good or should I get shift(s) covered?"

Anybody want to cover his shift for him? (You'll have to be in Olympia, Washington the weekend of May 12th)

Thursday, April 13, 2006

"Y'know how they discovered hairy lobsters recently?"

Carol writes:

"(I vote for) Shark E. Sideburns, but if you could find a lobster costume, that would be even better. Y'know how they discovered hairy lobsters recently?"

She's right. The secret is out.

Country Club & The Porn Horns

Tim informs me that he's officially booked our opening band, and they are Country Club & The Porn Horns

Here's what they have to say:

"We'll polish up a ZZtop cover, and we have a new Zappa cover to throw in as an homage to some of the great facial hair designs in rock history."

FunFaqTM: The caption on the CC&TPH website for the above pic is: "A hawk's eye view from the side of the stage."

If anyone brings a real Hawk to NYCBMC, they will get in free. So will the Hawk.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

UPDATE: Training to be the NYCBMC Mascot

Jamie, the mascot in training, writes:

"before assuming any role, i find it incredibly important to submerse myself in the culture of the character i will be portraying. In this case, i have been involved in an intensive, six week training regiment involving physical and emotional role play. At times, i was so exausted and overwhelmed by my training, that i heavily debated the idea of quitting...thats right, walking away. It was during those difficult times that i was faced with two options. I could either cut and run, and walk away from the mascot business forever. Or, i could dig deep, pick myself up with my own two paws, take a deep breath, and continue my training. Here I am doing such a thing, during one of my recent nordic workouts..."

UPDATE: Voting

Here's what the results are so far:

Lifetime Achievement
1st place: ZZTop
2nd place: Tom Sellick
3rd place: Abe Lincoln

1st place: Stachy Squirrel
2nd place: Shark E. Sideburns
3rd place: Whisker Wolf

Burke's name
1st place: Squattin' Thomas
2nd place: Ruckus
3rd place: Lady Duke

1st place: Totally
2nd place: No Way

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Frank's Coming to Town

I just recieved word that 2005 World Garibaldi Champion Frank Madera will be travelling with Gary Johnson to NYCBMC. If you see Frank at the event, there's no question that he will be drinking a Captain Morgan's and Coke. Be sure to ask him about "the tattoo." Although he'll probably ask you which one, and then you'll have to specify "the one that's a perfect likeness of the Captain Morgan logo on your calf." That should clarify things.

Frank is pictured above with Heinz Christophel, otherwise known as 'The Captain Hook Guy,' or 'The only person who chose Alex Trebek for the Lifetime Achievement Award'

Gary Johnson to be a Judge @ NYCBMC!

2003 World Beard and Moustache Champion Gary Johnson writes:

'Right on sounds like a happening! If you would send me some recommendations on a Flop House to stay at, close to our first dive in Amsterdam is good enough doubt if I'll be spending much time there anyway. Can't wait ready fir another "Road Trip."'

If you want to get a sense of how Gary might judge the competition, I recommend checking out these 2 video clips:

1) Gary gets stuck in a bathroom

2) Gary in the "flophouse" in Amsterdam trying to open a door

Monday, April 10, 2006

Training to be the NYCBMC Mascot

Got this update from Jamie, who will be donning the mascot costume @ NYCBMC:

i have begun a strict training routine so i will be at the top of my game for this event. one of my practices in the uvm (university of vermont) fieldhouse involved a series of suicides while wearing six sweatshirts, three pair of pants and a garbage bag over my head with two tiny eye cuts and what i like to call my breath hole.

"Is Herbert Dobner going to be there?"

Amy writes in with the best question I've gotten so far:

"Is Herbert Dobner going to be there?? I am a huge fan of his and so are all my friends. Please write back."

The answer is: I have no idea. However, I did find out who he is and I can get a message to him if you'd like. Perhaps a petition is in order? Or a Poll? That's it, we're starting another poll! Look out!

Question: Should Herb Dobner come to NYCBMC?

No Way

Also, if anyone wants to leave a message for Dobner, do so in the comments section and I'll be sure to forward them to him. When/if he responds, I'll post it.

This guy just voted for Alex Trebek

This is Heinz Christophel, the holder of multiple Full Beard Freestyle World Championships, and a major player in German Beard Politics (2 years ago he came within a whisker of taking the presidency of the Association of German Beard clubs). Also, he likes to dress up like Captain Hook. I don't know if that factored into the voting or not.

Surprisingly, Cristophel decided to throw his weight behind Trebek in the Lifetime Achievement Award Voting, just as I was about to pull him in favor of Mr. T.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006


Bearduary - The period beginning January 1st and ending March 1st, during which it is appropriate to grow a beard.

Check out the short documentary "Bearduary" directed by Sai Sriskandarajah.


Saturday, April 01, 2006

Help Choose This Guy's Stage Name

This is Burke. He's a member of the US Beard & Moustache Team. He just let me know that he'll be competing at NYCBMC, and I asked him about his stage name. Here's what he said:

I do have many nicknames given to me by my friends but my favorite is Ruckus. Here's a list of other nicknames I have:

Sqattin' Thomas
Lady Duke
Bev Star
Strong Thomas
Sweet Lady Star

I decided to turn his list into a poll, so go ahead and tell Burke what his stage name should be. Results will be divulged the night of the event, when Burke (AKA ?) steps on stage to whoop tail.

FunFaktTM: Burke competed at the 2005 World Beard & Moustache Championships in Berlin and took 5th place in the "Full Beard with Styled Upper Lip" Category.

Lifetime Achievement Award Nominatons

Jamie wrote in to protest that the NYCBMC Lifetime Achievement Awards have snubbed Al from Home Improvement and the Wild Things from Where the Wild Things Are . Wild Things, Al: I'm sorry.

Click here to vote for Al or the Wild Things.

FunFaktTM: Richard Karn (the guy who played Al from Home Improvement) was also in Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch, and something called MVP 2: Most Vertical Primate.

Shark E. Sideburns finally gets a vote!