Living with a guy who has a beard

Shin-pei writes:

"Every time I recoil from touching Jon's beard, he tells me that he's conditioned it. I ask him if he's ever trimmed it, looking up-close and askance at all the little strays firing away from the beard body. Doesn't it look trim? He asks. I say no. The beard can hear you, he tells me."

Ladies send your beard/moustache impressions here: nycbmc at gmail dot com. we'll post 'em + maybe do a reading at the event.